My new friend / Alien invasion

All of a sudden the other day Mom brought something into the bathroom from outside and shut the doors. There were some scrabbling noises and then I heard some "meows".

Mom poot something in the room where my food and poopy box is and shut the door. There was noise, there was a new smell. Then alien kitten sounds.

So I said, "Hey in there. Hey, Mom, can I go in the bathroom?" So Mom let me in.

There was my new kitten!! It was on the bathroom counter kick-boxing all of the counter items into the sink.

I stayed in there even when Mom left for the store. She was worried my kitten would beat me up because its sibling bit her. I was cautious only to not scare the wee thing. It looked small and nice, but scared.

I couldn't get close enough to sniff out its gender, but it looked kind of masculine, yet girlie.

Jaz went in and wen he came out I hizzed at him.

Mom brought back a special litter box for my kitten from the store and put my box in the kitchen, along with my bowl. He-she kept talking when Mom would go in the bathroom, telling her not to mess with him-her.

Mom moved stuff and then I kood pee in the kitchen.

During the night my kitten would talk about sad things, but I wanted to stay with my Mom. The bathroom floor is hard.

That thing kipt waking me up!

Half way through the next day, Ryan closed Meg and me in the bedroom, put my kitten in a trash can and helped Mom put he-she in a cage.

We got all locked up without FOOD when Ryan put the thing in a vet transporty box. I hadn't even finished my brekfest!

My kitten is gone now, but I can still smell her every now and then behind the people toilet. Mom took pictures of him-her:

I admit she might have had an evil streak in her.

--Jazpurr & Meg

I want a kitten

During the last two weeks while sitting in my kitchen window watching and talking with dumpster cats, I noticed a new addition: kittens. I discovered three kittens, two of which came up to our front porch, and a trepidatious mom. The kittens looked to be about a month old then, and so are about 6 weeks old now. They are stripey like me, but more brown than me. Also they're adorable and I want one.
More recently the mom is out of the picture and one kitten hangs out by itself or with the dumpster cats and the other is being raised by Coonie.
Yesterday Mom was using me as bait to lure one of the kittens for capturing. She kept sending me out the front door to try to make friends. It didn't quite work.
This morning, however, I was out on the front porch with Cheese and Crackers, Jean Tom and a kitten. Mom was able to sneak up on the kitten and grabbed it.
She brought it inside but it chowed down on her finger so she told it it had to leave. :(
I want a kitten.
Meg did not like the kitten. She hissed and fluffed her tail. She's always doing that. Drama queen.
I hope Mom will try again to catch me a kitten. She said I couldn't keep it always, though. Still, I like making friends.
--Jazpurr

Skinny Jean-Mom

Jean-Tom isn't preggy no more. She's dropped the kitten weight. She wasn't coming around much, only on occaision to fuel up at the cat food filling station Mom has for the dumpstees outside our front door.
The other day Mom had the door open and I was watching Jean-Tom and Cheese and Crackers (the baby daddy). She was all looking at me and rubbing on him all lovey dovey. Pshht. Like I need her. Stupid girlfriend.
More recently we started noticing Jean-Tom coming around more with her brothers for handouts and she has yet to bring her kits with her.
Mom says they probably died, what with them being all inbred and probably cross-eyed like their mum.

Ryan said she probably ated them. I would never eated my foil ball and milk ring babies. They make me sad howl when they stop moving. I wood howsever carry them around in my mouth and kick them around like soccer.

Meg, this is my post! I'm trying to talk about serious stuff here. Geezie cheese.
I'm sad my girlfriend's babies died or didn't like her and ran away, but I'm glad she doesn't have to be tied to that Cheese and Crackers chump raising the kits.
Mayhap she will be mine at last!

--Jazpurr and Meg (Son of a bichon, Meg! Get out of my post!)

My Girlfriend Got Knocked Up By Her Brother

That is to say, her brother got her pregnant before I could make her my girlfriend.
A while ago I was looking out the kitchen window at the dumpster cats chowing down and Mom said, "I bet you could find a girlfriend out there."
What with Peter Nincompoop kidnapped and all, Jean-Tom is the only girl left out there. Too bad she's full of belly fruit.
I suspect Cheese and Crackers is the father. They've been spending a lot of time together.
Needless to say I am heartbroken!
The only other female who frequents my front door is Coonie, but I'm weirded out by her dexterous fingers.
I'm 5 years old. It's getting pretty lame spending all my time with my dopey sister.
Perhaps I should try online dating, like mew-harmony or CATch.com.

--Jazpurr

What happened here?

So Mom was snooping through photos on her mom's computer when she came across a treasure trove of pics from when I was a kit (and also some of the other one [Hey! That's me. Dont call me other one!] Hey get out of my parentheses.).
I'm putting this photo up in the hopes you can help me figure out why I'm so wet and miserable looking. Clearly I've blocked it from my memory.
I've never been given a bath and although I've been caught in the rain many a time, I don't think I've ever gotten this wet. I guess it's possible.
What do you think? Use the comments to field your suggestions.
Also enjoy this cute pik of me when I was a ketten. Aint I cutesie?
Even as a kit you could tell there was empty air behind those eyes.
Yir a jerk!

--Jazpurr & Meg